All Hail The Degenerates.

You’ve probably heard this by now, but our micro-dictator is trying to upset the art community. He seems to have installed himself as chairman of the board at The Kennedy Center and is stripping the NEA for parts.

But that’s ok. For now.

Here’s why.

You might already know what I’m about to tell you. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, please read, remember, and internalize. Because every word of this is staggeringly true.

Before he was a mass murdering piece of shit, Hitler was an artist. He liked to paint things you might find in the bathroom of an airport Hyatt. Things like trees, barns and dogs. If you were in the market for art that depicted exactly what it looked like, young Adolf was your man.

But of course, this was post WW 1 Germany we’re talking about. There has never been a more deliciously twisted and fucked up artistic moment. Brilliant, visionary artists like Otto Dix and Georg Grosz and Max Beckmann were painting for all the world what the horrors of WW1 felt like. Half-alive corpses, limbless bodies, faceless civilians, darkness, prostitution, poverty, sheer and complete nihilism. It was fucking beautiful.

So of course when young Adolf showed up on the scene with his pictures that looked like things, the German art establishment not only rejected him, they laughed at him.

This hurt young Adolf’s feelings. Critical feedback wasn’t his thing. How can this be? He ragefully mused. After all, his barn really, really looked like a barn! What the fuck else do these snobby art people want?!

A few years later, our young mass murdering douchenozzle took over Germany. All of it. It wasn’t that hard either. They kinda just gave it to him. (Apparently the war had made eggs expensive.)

So in 1937, after being in total control of his country for 4 years, Adolf decided he’d finally get back at those mean art people who didn’t like his barns that looked like barns.

He conceived a behemoth art show.

This’ll show ‘em.

He rented out 2 gallery spaces. In one gallery space he set up “The Great German Art Exhibition.” In the other, he installed “The Degenerate Art Show.” (If this is the first time you’re hearing this and you’re like, no fucking way did this happen, I’m not even gonna link it, just Google and enjoy).

“The Great German Art Exhibition” was art Hitler liked. It was a lot of nude stuff. Like, nude statues of both nude men and women. But mostly men. Like, a LOT of men. Big dangling cocks and taut asses. I would include a list of the artists featured in “The Great German Art Exhibition” but I don’t remember their names. Oh wait! I do remember one! Adolf Hitler. His early work was in there, too. You know, his barns, trees and dogs.

In the next gallery though was “The Degenerate Art Show.” Hitler covered the walls of this massive building in what he viewed were blasphemous, obscene, offensive, Jewish, or pretentious art works. (Hitler hated pretension.) If we one day invent a way to travel in time, I would set the DeLorean to July 1937 so I could see this show (although as a Jewish person, I would make sure I have the plutonium to zip right back).

The walls were teeming with genius. Here are some of the artists our mass murdering ass clown featured:

Georg Grosz

Ernst Ludwig Kirchner

Paul Klee

Georg Kolbe

Wilhelm Lehmbruck

Franz Marc

Emil Nolde

Otto Dix

Willi Baumeister

Kurt Schwitters

Pablo Picasso

Jean Metzinger

Albert Gleizes

Grant Wood

Piet Mondrian

Marc Chagall

Wassily Kandinsky

Hitler intentionally hung the paintings crookedly (ouch) and even spray painted stuff on the walls saying, “look at this shit!” and “this Jew doesn’t even know how to paint!” He even labeled one of the rooms in the gallery “The Insanity Room” over which a placard read:

“In the paintings and drawings of this chamber of horrors there is no telling what was in the sick brains of those who wielded the brush or the pencil!”

It has the poetic je ne sais quoi that only a mediocre mass murdering shithead could conjure up.

So here’s what happened:

No one gave a fuck about “The Great German Art Exhibition.” But they really loved “The Degenerate Art Show.”

This pissed Hitler off.

So he decided to take both shows on tour around Germany. Surely then, he thought, people will finally see that Paul Klee’s Walpurgis Night sucks compared to my barn that looks exactly like a fucking barn!

As you can imagine, this tour had the reverse effect. “The Degenerate Art Show” averaged 20,000 visitors a day, 4 times more people than the “The Great German Art Exhibition.” People seemed to really like what Nazis were scared of. The artists featured gained even more fame and respect. I know I love them more.

My point in telling you this, if you didn’t already know, or reminding you of it if you did, is this:

I’m personally not that bothered about the shock tactic of Trump taking over the Kennedy Center or stripping the NEA or whatever.

The Kennedy Center and the NEA do not make or break artists.

I have never been featured at either, have you?

So let him. Maybe even encourage him! Because as mentioned in my previous posts, art is my higher power. Absolutely no one can fuck with that, especially not our adorable orange fascist.

Where I do get nervous is when I remember that Trump knows that, too.

His feelings get hurt when he sees artists are laughing at his untalented ass. Hitler’s version of this is why many artists were killed in concentration camps.

But keep laughing at him anyway.

Maybe being chairman of the board of an art institution will be the thing that finally destroys him.